Journal of Agniss Bampfylde

April 8, 2022.

I finally got the team together.  I was so prepared writing down all my thoughts to make sure I didn’t forget anything and practiced not once but three times hoping I sounded sincerely but not motherly, friendly but leader-like, knowledgeable but…I was so full of trepidation that I could barely think.

The meeting started out with Raelin having issue that he was sitting next to a thumper – that would be Samus.  I talked him down. And then when I asked them to introduce themselves, to build camaraderie within ranks, Obscura wanted to tell them nothing, these were complete strangers and she was not sure she wanted to be part of the team…I talked her down.  Friz, in his most knowledgeable doctor voice told Obscura in his professional opinion her stress will cause her to go blind.  I talked Obscura down again.  Friz and Samus were short and to the point and then we came to Raelin who was looking everywhere but at the people at the table.  Like Obscura he didn’t want to talk and like Obscura I told him he could trust everyone.  Apparently in his Mott the Fixer form he had dealings with Obscura and Friz and it was Friz who convinced him in to revealing his true face.  I wonder how often he actually has been his true self in front of people?

Now that that horrible discussion was out of the way I wanted to discuss my leadership style when Cedric Tunney decided to knock at the door.  Raelin and Obscura disappeared upstairs followed by Friz.  Mr. Tunney’s hulking form filled my doorway, his face was sheened with sweat from climbing the hill to Idlewood. Four Iron Wolves stood slightly behind him.  He demanded his taxes for the month.  I gave him 400 gold pieces, but told him I would have to owe him the 100 in the next week. I needed to keep some back for our first mission.  And then, that corpulent swine had the audacity to threaten to take Fluffy.  Well Fluffy wouldn’t go without a fight and I wasn’t going to let him go without one, and then calm Samus stepped in.

“I will get you your 100 gold by weeks end.  You know I’m good for it.”

Samus used to be a famous wrestler called “The Bender” who was one of the favorites of the Iron Wolves because he was once one of their ranks.  Apparently, he still has clout with the Iron Wolves because they relented. Mr. Tunney huffed his way off my doorstep.  “Thank you Samus,” I said.  I could always count on Samus to stand by me.

We rejoined in the dining room, and I gave my lecture on my leadership. That while I value their opinion in the field, they needed to listen to me.  If I say run, we run. I thought it was quite concise and I summed it up that my two main goals for the team was to stay alive and complete our missions…in that order.

We then discussed our first adventure to find information on or possible obtain the Elixir of the Multiverse.  The latter would bring us more fortune than the former. I let them know that Friz and I did a little leg work and thought our first place to look were in the library catacombs.  Only issue…the librarians and nobles buried beneath the library apparently still walk the halls of the catacombs. We were to meet the keeper of the catacomb keys, Iggy, the following evening.

Our plan was simple.  We would gather the supplies needed, holy water (Mott the Fixer had a lead on getting us some from his contacts – the Frog Brothers), crossbows for Obscura and me; short bow for Samus. The rest we had around the house, tinderbox, torches, lanterns, and the like.  I put everything in the cart and drove Fluffy to the back of the library where Samus was waiting with a library trash bin, and we loaded all the stuff in it.  Raelin was dressed as a repairman and Samus followed him to the catacombs. Friz knew where he was going, and Obscura came under the guise of a new student needing a tour from her history professor.  We all met down at the catacombs where Iggy was opening the door to two men of faith.  One of them was wounded and I saw blood dripping from his arm.  That was a bit foreboding. We said nothing as they passed by.  Mistake number one.

Iggy told us the rules of the catacombs:

·        Enter at your own risk

·        No papers or books may be removed from the catacombs

·        No destruction of property upon penalty of dealth

·        Ring the bell to exit

We said we agreed to the rules and off we went without another word – mistake number two.  

We barely all got through the door when a dead thing was waiting for us.  Possibly one that had caused the priest to bleed.  Samus grabbed him around the middle and held on.  Raelin and Obscura hit them with sword and magic and shards of bone flew.  From those bones more skeletons rose and then I hit the undead with my fire bolt and it destroyed him, the minions were easily dispatched.  “Well done,” I called from the doorway, hoping to sound encouraging and keep my voice steady. “Way to work like a team.” I swear I could hear Obscura’s eyes rolling in her head. 

We were in a library. A table was in the center and bookshelves from floor to ceiling. There had to be at least 400 books. There was a closed door behind us, one in front of us and what looked like a crack in the wall where the catacombs collapsed.  A crack large enough for a restless skeleton to walk through.

I cast detect magic hoping the book we wanted would reveal itself – but nothing glowed.  I looked to see what the others were doing.  Raelin went toward the bookshelves, Friz was collecting bone dust from the skeletons, Obscura was listening at the back door and Samus went to the door near the back. He opened it revealing another room with a book on the pedestal.  Nothing revealed itself as magic to me.  I walked into the room and picked up the book Odeluk’s Elemental Travel. I started looking through the Appendix and found mention the Elixir of Multiverse but no page number associated with.  “Grab it and put it in your backpack,” said Samus as he kept a nervous eye on the collapsed area. 

“But the rules said not to take anything out,” I said.  Mistake number 3. I started frantically thumbing through the book.

Obscura was calling for help to move the table in front of the other door and I told Samus to help her.  Meanwhile Raelin and Friz were looking at books on the shelf calling out such titles as Making Friends – a history of Necromancy or This Spell is Harmless.

The table scrapped along the floor as Obscura and Samus pushed it up against the door.  I put down the Odeluk book, realizing my spell was going to run out and I had not explored the entire library.  I joined Samus at the crack that led to the catacombs.  “Maybe it’s in there?  If it is a magical book I could see it. Let me send Mouse in.” Mistake number 4.

Mouse’s tail no more than disappeared in the gloom when I felt her wink out.  “There is something coming,” I called as the undead shambled into the room. I felt confident we could take this one.  It was different than the other as my fire seemed to spawn more minions.  We were able to defeat one, but another came through the door spawning minions of their own. I began to panic.  Obscura had pulled back to the bell.  I looked at Samus who was grappling one.  “I’m fine” he said.  “Take out the minons.”

Then another came and we were no longer fine.  “I’m out of heals,” Friz called. 

“Pull back,” I ordered and ran toward Obscura waiting for the others to come.  Friz took off toward me and Raelin watched his back as he slowly came my way.  Samus was surrounded as he continued to try to pin one of them.  “Samus!” I called.  “We run.”

Samus stayed.

Stones and boulders, I was going to lose my first team member on my first mission.  “Obscura, get ready to ring the bell,” I called.  “Samus, we leave NOW!” I yelled.  Now, everyone that knows me knows I do not yell.  I feel there is no need to raise ones voice to be heard, but apparently when The Bender is in a fight one must yell for him to hear you. 

Samus ran bringing the hoard of undead with him.  “Ring the bell, Obscura.” Friz was already in the hallway at the gate yelling Iggy’s name. Raelin was clutching his side calling on Friz to heal him.  Obscura was yelling something about, “you call this a team,” and I was looking for Samus among all the undead coming our way. 

“You want to leave?” we heard Iggy’s nasally voice asked and Friz, Obscura and Raelin screamed “YES.”

The gate began to rise, and I saw Samus running toward us.  We stumbled through the gate the undead at our heels.  “Shoot them between the bars,” Samus said, his breath coming in gasps.  The dead refused to come into the hallway.  They stayed for a heartbeat and then shuffled away.  The second gate opened and we left the catacombs. 

“Now we know what we are up against, we can go back after we regroup,” I said encouraging.

“I’m not going back in there,” Obscura said, an edge of venom to her words.

“Did you find what you were looking for?” Iggy asked.

“No, too many undead,” Friz said. “And too many books.”

“I read many of those books,” Iggy said.  “I wait until they are gone, and I take one to read.”

“Did you read Odeluk’s Elemental Travel,” I asked.

“Oh, yes,” Iggy said.

“Do you know of the Elixir of the Multiverse,” Friz asked.

“Oh, yes, I wrote down the recipe,” Iggy said.  Mistake number 5 which ties into Mistake number 2 when we didn’t ask Iggy ANYTHING before we entered the catacombs.  We have a LONG way to go before we are the elite team the Society is looking for.

Iggy gave us a copy of the recipe which was written down by a Gertrude Der Furith. Iggy did not remember reading anything about her but thought she might be mentioned somewhere in the books if we care to go back in.  “Maybe later,” I said.

Here is the recipe.

Elixir of the Multiverse-

Ingredients-
1 bloodfruit, harvested in the light of the moon
1 bottle of aged port wine
1 tooth of a dimension hound, finely ground
2 cups of sand taken from underneath a shipwreck on the bottom of the sea
Half a cup of oil from crushed olives
3 hair follicles taken from a wild ape, finely chopped
1 pint of blood from a beast of displacement
3 cups of goats milk
1 tongue of a otherworldly fiend, ground coarsely
1 gallon of sweet bee honey
1 bone of the corpse of a noble ghost
1 Ether toad, living
1 spoonful of maple syrup
20 clean vials

Mix the wine, oil, blood, milk, honey and syrup in a large cauldron over a fire, bring to a simmer.  Gradually stir in the ground tooth and sand.  Toss in the bone, hair folicles and coarsely ground tongue, then let stew for two days, stirring hourly.  On the third day, crush the bloodfruit directly over the cauldron, but do not stir.  Discard remains of bloodfruit.  Bring to a boil, then throw live toad directly into cauldron, taking care to not let toad become ethereal before submersion.  Stir vigorously until toad stops croaking.  Pour ingredients into vials.  Makes a batch of 20 doses. Elixir must be applied to the bottom of the feet, and a small sip to be effective. Caution user to speak the name of the place they wish to travel upon application, the more specific the better.

We made our way back to Idlewood stating we would meet back for debrief in a week’s time.  For now, we needed to see what we could find out about some of the more eclectic items on the list and I would see if the Society would pay us for the recipe and if my source had any leads on the ingredients. 

We survived our first adventure, but by the skin of our teeth. I don’t think I would have been able to carry on if I lost one of them on our first adventure. Did I bite a larger mushroom than I could chew?  Teaching about great battles in history is one thing, actually participating in a battle is much different. But as history has shown time and time again with each failure there are lessons for victory.  And it was not a failure…we survived our first adventure, for that we should be proud.